Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Six degrees of Gary Cole


Every now and then, Brian Deutsch (aka Brian in Chŏllanam-do, aka Jeollanam-do) mentions that Koreans he meets often say he looks like actor Kevin Bacon (Mmmm... bacon).

Kevin Bacon's a good-looking guy. Kushibo will forever associate him with Footloose, that 1980s film about a rebellious teenager who challenges authority. No, not that one; you're thinking of Judd Nelson*. Yeah, that one.

Anyway, the problem with this is that everybody with lightish hair looks like Kevin Bacon to most Koreans (and Japanese, and Chinese, and Taiwanese, etc.).



Um, anyway, I've made no secret of my opinion that Brian (above) looks more like actor Gary Cole (below), that guy who has that face that you recognize even if you can't put your finger on his name or even where you know him from. Kinda like that guy from lost who plays Ben.

Anyway, just to help you along, Gary Cole is famous for his roles as Vice President Bob Russell on West Wing, Mike Brady in The Brady Bunch Movie, the bad guy pot-dealing kingpin Ted Jones in Pineapple Express, and annoying boss Bill Lumbergh in the cult classic Office Space.

Now I'm not saying Brian looks old, 'cuz he doesn't. In fact, Gary Cole is old enough to be Brian's dad. I'm just saying he looks like him; that is to say, that's the celebrity he most looks like. People peg me as Harry Potter if they have to peg me as someone. The Marmot looks like John Billingsley, Oranckay looks like that guy in that thing, and Metropolitician looks like Fred Berry.

And truth to be told, Gary Cole's not a bad-looking guy (said in the most heterosexual way possible). Here he is in Office Space:


Okay, the glasses look a little too retro to be cool, but he must have at least some attractive qualities, because that's Jennifer Anniston's leg he's holding. And not the Jennifer Anniston who got dumped by Brad, but the 1999 Jennifer Anniston who was still hot and being pursued by Ross. Well, actually, it's the leg of the character played by Jennifer Anniston, so it might even be her leg, but it doesn't matter because Bill Lumbergh is the man! And Brian looks like the man who plays that man.

[Just so we're clear: Brian is better looking than either Gary Cole or Kevin Bacon. And I say that in the most heterosexual way. And I mean this whole thing in good fun, but I'm sure Brian knows that.]

This point has no post whatsoever. As you were.

* And you're the only one to do so since Suddenly Susan. Sphere: Related Content

14 comments:

  1. I usually get Owen Wilson because of the hair and nose, but to tell the truth, I actually look more like Ellen...

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  2. Is there something wrong with your nose? I can't tell by your blog photo.

    I think it's the hat you wear in that particular photo, but you look quite Irish. But I can't figure out which famous Irishman.

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  3. The blog banner is not me. I'm of Frech-German descent. The fellow in the picture is a friend of Irish decent.

    I have a pretty decent-sized nose and that typically leads to the Owen Wilson comparison. When my hair is short, I look like Ellen. Now, I guess I'd have to say Zac Hanson. I think I prefer Wilson...Phillips.

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  4. Yeah...you have to take those kind of comments by natives to foreigners with a tiny grain of salt. As an Asian growing up in the US, I can't tell you how many times Americans said I looked like Bruce Lee or that Asian kid from the Bad News Bears movie (I think it was the second BNB movie)....which I DON'T, by the way. Remember that British guy in Beijing during the Olympics whom everybody thought was Michael Phelps?! They even did a mini segment/interview with him on NBC. He looked NOTHING like Phelps...but oh well....grain of salt.

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  5. LastnameKim, Americans also think I look like Harry Potter.

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  6. The Expat wrote:
    The blog banner is not me. I'm of Frech-German descent. The fellow in the picture is a friend of Irish decent.

    Wow. I feel like I've been given privy information. And good on me that I was able to pick out an Irish person as an Irish person. Actually, though, it was largely due to the hat. I'm one of those people who firmly believes you can't pick out who is what (say, who is Japanese or Korean... or Italian versus French) except mostly by external cues. I've seen Japanese come to Korea and are so obviously Japanese-looking that they stick out, but after six months or a year they blend in so much that no one pays them any notice.

    I have a pretty decent-sized nose and that typically leads to the Owen Wilson comparison. When my hair is short, I look like Ellen. Now, I guess I'd have to say Zac Hanson. I think I prefer Wilson...Phillips.

    Zac Hanson is all right looking. Again, I say that with the most heterosexual of intentions. Do you not use your own picture to remain "blog-anonymous"? Certainly nothing wrong with that.

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  7. It's not so much about privacy as it is that that particular friend used to love taking pictures of himself in big groups of Koreans and I thought they were fitting.

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  8. That was bad kush...

    What did Brian ever do to you?... ;)

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  9. Edward wrote:
    That was bad kush...

    What did Brian ever do to you?... ;)


    Bad? What's bad about any of this? I've not met him before, but I have had enough online and private email interaction with him to conclude that he's a nice guy. I certainly don't mean anything bad by any of this.

    What's bad about saying Brian (a good-looking guy) looks more like Gary Cole (who is a good-looking guy for his age) than Kevin Bacon (a good-looking guy, but not as good-looking as either Brian or Gary Cole?

    Geez, now I'm worried. If Brian told me he was offended by any of this, I'd remove the offensive part or take down the post altogether.

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  10. Kush,

    Didn't you notice the wink at the end of my comment?!?!?

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  11. I saw the wink, but wasn't sure if it applied just to this being a real attack on Brian or if it also applied to it being bad.

    I was defending against it being bad.

    And certainly I've run into problems where (see update here) my attempts at ribbing ended up offending someone.

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  12. Because I was not raised in Korea... I understand satire and irony!

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  13. Edward wrote:
    Because I was not raised in Korea... I understand satire and irony!

    Yeah, but look at the link I just sent. That guy wasn't raised in Korea either, and he didn't get the satire... or the irony. Then again, he's also a plagiarist, so maybe he's gone native. ;)

    :D

    XD

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  14. You mentioned before that I look like Gary Cole---whom I remember fondly for his role on The West Wing---but until the picture on this post I never considered how right you might be.

    However, everybody---Americans, Koreans, Canadians, friends, family---say I look like Kevin Bacon. It's not just a Korean inability to distinguish Westerners. In fact, most Koreans don't know who Kevin Bacon is. I have to ask "Do you know 'Hollow Man'?"

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