Thursday, December 3, 2009

Korean press in a twitter as another Hollywood bimbo appears to like Rain


Paris Hilton, vacuous hotel empire heir turned model turned actress, is the next in a series of Hollywood sex kittens (note: we at Monster Island are trying hard to find appropriate euphemisms for slut) falling for Rain. She has apparently tweeted her appreciation for South Korean heartthrob Rain's latest Hollywood outing, Ninja Assassins.

The Korean media is picking up on this by putting two and two together and insisting that, like supermegauberstar Megan Fox, this must mean that Paris Hilton is attracted to Rain, which would affirm the superior sexiness of all Korean men by extension:
New York socialite Paris Hilton would like to see South Korean heartthrob Rain throb in more ways than one. The actress is reportedly attracted to Rain's manly not-gay musculature in the movie Ninja Assassins, which follows the antics of ninjas, which are originally from ancient Korea. We couldn't interview Paris directly, but we think she would have told us, "He is so cute and kind. And the name Rain reminds me of liquid pouring on my face. Very refreshing."
The Korean headline in the same local newspaper read: "Paris Hilton has long liked Korean stuff; would now like to be stuffed by Korean," which was soon changed to "Paris Hilton into Korean things; would like Korean thing to get into her." It now reads "Paris likes Rain," followed by three question marks and a smiley emoticon. The article is next to an on-line ad recruiting a new native English-speaking copy editor.


[above: Rain and a ninja friend prepare to snake a really long drain.]

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11 comments:

  1. "(note: we at Monster Island are trying hard to find appropriate euphemisms for slut"

    Kush,

    Look me straight in the face and tell me you wouldn't hit it if you had the chance...

    ReplyDelete
  2. As a hetero-ethnic Korean, I still don't see why Rain is considered so hot to these two very hot Hollywood starlets. I think there are actually a lot of other "handsome" Korean stars, but why they choose Rain is beyond me.
    Oh and by the way, I don't think "slut" is necessarily a negative word (for some reason, "slutty" has a nice ring to it)...but "bimbo" can be offensive.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yet another 24-hour period which I've been unable to get through without being imposed upon by Paris Hilton's ubiquity on the web. Thanks a diaperload! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Edward wrote:
    Look me straight in the face and tell me you wouldn't hit it if you had the chance...

    [looking in Edward's general direction] I would not hit it if I had a chance.

    At least, not if I was sober.

    My brain — and my superego in particular — has always had a strong override over my nether regions, and (if I were sober). I would look on at a Paris Hilton, a Madonna (even when she was much younger) and the like, giving me the chance to "hit it" as you say, and my brain would be lighting up like a Christmas tree going "Chlamydia! Chlamydia!"

    I suspect that if I told this randy Paris Hilton who is coming on to me, "No thanks. I'm worried about chlamydia," she would respond by asking why I'm still hung up over my ex-girlfriend. And is she Italian?

    So my boring vanilla copulation choices have included little to brag about. But that's what I did and it's served me well. And I enjoyed the life I had, doing that and not getting STDs.

    Besides, I go for smart celebrities, ones that would keep my interest in the snuggle of the afterglow. Natalie Portman as well.

    Now, my supergo tends to pass out on the floor if I'm inebriated beyond just a light buzz. I might look at Paris Hilton and momentarily forget her giraffe-like neck and the flora and fauna competing for real estate in her lady parts, and perhaps focus on her come-hither smile with a hint of knowing smugness that appears to be permanently stuck to her face, and maybe I would hit it.

    But I'd have to be way beyond drunk to get to that point with Madonna.

    In general, Paris Hilton just doesn't do it for me. She's not the kind of blonde I consider attractive. Of course, if we were the only man and woman left on Earth, the planet would be repopulated.

    Anyway, as much as I disdain her and the type of stardom she represents, I feel sorry for her when it comes to all the things like the private sex tapes. Man, she's got some real aßholes latching on to her.

    Anyway, in cas you're wondering, the hanbok photo came from this hit-or-miss attempt at humor from a year ago. Same type of theme.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LastnameKim wrote:
    As a hetero-ethnic Korean, I still don't see why Rain is considered so hot to these two very hot Hollywood starlets. I think there are actually a lot of other "handsome" Korean stars, but why they choose Rain is beyond me.

    I think his non-gay musculature is a clue. And he is so cute and kind.

    Maybe the thing is merely exposure. There aren't a lot of Asian actors out there in Hollywood, so if you've got to choose between Rain and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, you go with the one who looks a bit less dark-alley scary.

    Oh and by the way, I don't think "slut" is necessarily a negative word (for some reason, "slutty" has a nice ring to it)...but "bimbo" can be offensive.

    Really? Maybe this is a regional difference. "Bimbo" is a goofy word, a bit insulting, but "slut" is gouge-your-eyes-out fightin' words. Wait, though, you're from California, too, aren't you?

    Anyway, the only thing really offensive about "bimbo" is that it should be "bimba."

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Sanity Inspector wrote:
    Yet another 24-hour period which I've been unable to get through without being imposed upon by Paris Hilton's ubiquity on the web. Thanks a diaperload! ;)

    Hey, I'm just doing my part to ridicule the media into stopping paying attention to her.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey... at least Paris Hilton looks smart reading the Art of War!

    http://www.geeksaresexy.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/sexy-paris-hilton.jpg

    Btw... I would hit it hit it hard and video type it so I can blackmail her later... ;)

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  8. Edward wrote:
    Hey... at least Paris Hilton looks smart reading the Art of War!

    Photoshop!

    (Or staged. It's unlikely that someone her age would already need reading glasses.)

    Btw... I would hit it hit it hard and video type it so I can blackmail her later... ;)

    Well maybe we should just start calling you Edward Scandalhands.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Actually, that pic is not photoshopped as there are several pictures of her reading it in different angles... but yeah, it was probably staged.

    ReplyDelete

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